Charity Shows

HEY!! your 18th letter is answered!!

Their agent has said that SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY their artist will appear! YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY!!!!

Watch out for those words S T A it means that they are not obliged, but more often than not, you will be able to advertise them on your poster, as long as you state those dreadful 3 words!

POSTER! did I say poster? More costs!! BUT SO NECESSARY.

You will ofcourse find that as you go along, your poster will have to be changed regularly with various new names added and naturally, names removed (the ones that ring you up and say 'sorry but something's come up!!)

Don't be too surprised, that on the day prior to the event, at least one of your star names will retract!!!

Now, you know everything about 'staging' don't you - 'Don't You?'

If you don't and you're hoping to engage professionals, get a PROFESSIONAL, preferably someone well-known in the biz, this will be an added incentive for the artist to appear.

Try someone from Television, your artists might see it as a way to get work!!

YOUR CHOSEN CHARITY!

Do not be too surprised, if when you have spent 3 months hard slog and come up with two names, both of whom are 'crowd pullers' your Charity doesn't seem to be that impressed! Never mind - carry on regardless!

Now, while you're with 'them', begin to ask for help, you'll be amazed as to how helpful they all promise to be!

FORGET IT! Something will crop up near the dreaded day that will prevent them from participating!!!

Unfortunately, you are going to experience this attitude everywhere! Still! it is the thought that counts, isn't it!! Isn't it?

This also applies to all those wonderful people who are more than happy to lend you - drapes, tabs, star-cloths, scenic dressings - "No problem" they say.

Come the day? Where are they?

STAGE CREWS!

There was a time, when you could rely on your venue's stage crew to be more than happy to 'give their services'.

Unfortunately, these days, 'things' have changed, 9 out of 10 will grab every penny that can be made from your event! Sad but true!

As you will probably be staging your 'epic' on a Sunday, a 'little word' seems to crop up!! OVERTIME

On top of everything else - a really horrendous moment entitled 'GET OUT'.

This is where, after the standing ovations have occurred (this actually did happen at mine! - honest!) your lovely and friendly stage crew, charge you an absolute fortune for getting rid of you from their premises!

Remember! it has to be paid!!

YOU'RE 4 MONTHS 'IN'

GREAT! you've managed to engage 5 artists!! The fact that 3 of them are SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY won't worry you will it?!

Happen to stumble on a stunning looking Scot's Piper busking in street, ask him to open show with Sondheim's Being Alive comes round that night to learn it off the original recording - He lives up to his looks!

AGENTS

A quick word here, don't be put off by their brusque manner and that they will treat you like a complete idiot (let's face it - you are - for having started all this in the first place!)

There are exceptions but 'oh dear!' some are simply terrifying! An immediate question will be 'billing' "Where will my client's name be on the poster?"

Easy - that one - simply say 'Alphabetical Order' or if you have to - Lie!

"Where in the programme will my client perform?" - tough one that - still you have that Professional Director now don't you? He'll sort that out!! Tell them you'll call back - but, DON'T!

"Which dressing room will they have and with whom will they share?" You want to tell them that they will be very lucky to get one at all, but you have second thoughts about your reply, simply tell them "But, the best of course!"

You ask a very simple question! "Would it be at all possible to have a photo and a few words for the programme?" Week later a gigantic package will arrive, enclosed will be 20 photographs and 50,000 words extolling the incredible talents of their artist!

THE PROGRAMME

Did I say the programme? You'd be amazed as to how a seemingly simple item becomes the most gigantic headache!

Firstly, you need sponsors for the various pages (to pay for the printing!) Suggest selling pages: Full Page, Half Page, Quarter Page, priced accordingly.

As artists clamour to be included in your 'show', photos and biographies have to be inserted, those 50,000 words have to be condensed to 5 lines!

Whatever you do, don't let the artist concerned see your editing before the day, let them discover it during the performance - too late by then and anyway they'll all be far too concerned with the worry as to how they will top the preceeding act!

LET'S BEGIN!

Allow yourself 1 year (at least) to accomplish.

Find a Title for your Event and if possible a patron or two (The more well-known these are the better).

If, at all possible, try to get at least one well-known name (personality) to use as bait.

You then need to book a venue, these, I'm afraid do not come cheap - even for a Charity Evening.

HAVING YOUR TITLE & VENUE with Patrons, you now need to raise some dosh from as many sponsors as possible.

Don't worry! only about 98% will turn you down!

Companies will give you umpteen reasons as to why they cannot give "This Year".

Don't give up! "Hey Presto!" your 59th letter promises you £1,500 & sends you a cheque - you've booked and

paid for your theatre!!! (In advance ofcourse!)

NOW!! You begin the 'simple task' of asking Artists to appear!

Remember, when asking artists, you really are obliged to offer free transportation & accommodation!! (more expense!)

Good point here - try the local good hotels, you might well find that they will do you a good deal, especially at a

week-end, when they are empty!

Spend a few days in the local library and make notes of names & agent's addresses from SPOTLIGHT (the theatre's bible). Oh! by the way, you'll need at least 200 if not more!! Now you start the letter writing. (stamps are only 34p aren't they?!!) 'Course you could use e-mail! Letters look better and are far more personal.

Don't believe all you hear regarding the automatic generosity of show-folk, that's gollocks! Having said that, there are

some incredibly thoughtful and generous artists around, you simply have to find them!! (List later to help)

You will then realise that besides your artists you will need Music!

ORCHESTRA & MUSICIANS in general do NOT give their services for free!!

They are very expensive BUT I believe that in this department THEY ARE VITAL and ONLY THE BEST will do!

Find yourself a great MD (Musical Director) he'll do the rest!