co-star Dustin Hoffman had stayed awake for two days to look properly exhausted in one scene,
he told the younger actor, "You should try acting, my boy. It's much easier."
'Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the more expensive seats,
rattle your jewelry. JOHN LENNON (Royal Variety Performance)
'After 2 days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse'.
'A man's got to believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink'.
'I excercise strong self-control, I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast'. WC FIELDS
A company formed to help people find artists and their agents has come up with a classy web address!! www.whorepresents.com (I kid you not!!!)
'I'm an excellent Housekeeper, everytime I get a divorce, I keep the house'. ZSA ZSA GABOR
'The wife's mother said when you're dead I'll dance in your grave' I said 'Good! I'm being buried at sea'.'I saw six men beating the hell out of the mother in law. My neighbour said 'Aren't you going to help?
On going backstage at the Old Vic to take RICHARD BURTON to dinner after seeing
and loathing his Hamlet.
Sir John called & told him: "I'll go ahead, Richard. Come when you're better,
I mean, when you're ready".
Working in an art supply store. Artists' canvas was sold by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"
Overheard on a London bus:
First Woman: "I don't know what to get Fred for his birthday".
Second Woman: "Why don't you get him a book?"
First Woman: (after a moment's thought) "Nah, he's already got a book."
UNFORTUNATE QUOTE OF THE YEAR!!!
On The Passing By The Film Censors Of 'NINE SONGS' ANN WIDDECOMBE States:
''It Is Not The Board's Role To Allow Pornography To Enter The Mainstream. This Is Something That DAVID BLUNKETT Should Look At'' Now There's A Clever Trick!! (Rich)
When Driving, PERCY SHAW Noticed A Cat In The Road, His Car Headlights Reflected In It's Eyes Went On To Invent 'Cat's Eyes' Just A Thought!! Had The Cat Been Walking In The Opposite Direction Would He Might Not Have Invented The Pencil Sharpener?
HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?
Bournemouth To Glasgow? EASY!! FLY!! Cheaper & Faster Than Train! There's A Sort Of Catch!! Bring A Passport!! £87 7hrs 42mins By Train £23:39p 6hrs 40mins By Plane
The Passport? Oh! Didn't I Say? You Fly Via Barcelona!!
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